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Story help, for a character!

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Hablaguy28
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Story help, for a character!

So I have been working on this character for long. I need help with a character that is my Spider-Man like character, the origin is basically a field trip to see a dark matter demostration but only resulted an accident that he got his powers, but I have no idea what to add more to his origin or need more telling in it beside a dark matter demostration in a field trip.

"Science is the gift of humanity that we all should treasure."

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My go-to is to start further

My go-to is to start further back, to understand his personality a bit before we introduce superpowers. Was he a fairly vanilla upstanding kid? Childhood trauma? Poverty striken? Rich Kid who thinks he's untouchable?


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DesViper wrote:
DesViper wrote:

My go-to is to start further back, to understand his personality a bit before we introduce superpowers. Was he a fairly vanilla upstanding kid? Childhood trauma? Poverty striken? Rich Kid who thinks he's untouchable?

He was just an ordinary kid who is introverted in High School where he was not very social active and was more of a geek and has no childhod trauma.

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Sounds like a sociopath :p

Sounds like a sociopath :p Maybe add a bit of spice to the psychology.


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Hablaguy28 wrote:
Hablaguy28 wrote:

He was just an ordinary kid who is introverted in High School where he was not very socially active and was more of a geek and has no childhood trauma.

I usually start by defining 'family' and what sort of environment they grew up in, activities and hobbies. Those will flavor their quirks and help define how they think and what they want. Fill out a Dating Site data-sheet, even. You can either go from Quirks to Character or decide on Character and fill in the Quirks and History that support that development. Consider 'Life Events', all of which will contribute. You're describing a life.
Born-raised-educated-friends-more educated-first job-first job they Liked-more friends, girls, etc.-'Life Changing Event'...

Be Well!
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E.g. in Cosmic-Class Coliseum

E.g. in Cosmic-Class Coliseum, Emerald is an Archaeologist so it colors her decision making.


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As overrated as it is to have

As overrated as it is to have a sad back story such as their parents dying or being bullied, the audience needs to feel for the character so that when he turns out to be a hero that saves the day, it's all the more satisfying. So maybe pick something that's not as commonly used? Or don't, its up to you but your character sounds bland without any kind of story other than just regular kid who was a bit introverted.

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The character has emotions

The character has emotions and has few friends, he doesn't get bullied but has a rival student who always tries to pick on him and other students (To avoid Spider-Man ripping off) it similar to how Batman Beyond has Terry McGinnis has a rival student named Nelson. He has parents that are alive and loves them, he idolizes his father for his great mind and wise words, he lives in Titan City of course. His hobbies includes gaming, watching anime, and read comics at times. He keeps himself introverted as he finds it sometime strange to engage strangers. Though his parents argues sometime which makes him upset at times.

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"he's not bullied......but

"he's not bullied......but always tries to pick on him" not sure what your definition of bullying is :p

Idk man, backstory doesn't inspire a personable hero, but it doesn't need to :p If it doesn't skip past it.


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DesViper wrote:
DesViper wrote:

"he's not bullied......but always tries to pick on him" not sure what your definition of bullying is :p

Idk man, backstory doesn't inspire a personable hero, but it doesn't need to :p If it doesn't skip past it.

When I meant by that, I meant he isn't bullied by other students beside just one person, and I don't want to add too many tragic pasts, probably two.

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Then in writing, skip to

Then in writing, skip to power origin, I'd say.


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I am working on the power

I am working on the power origin since that way I can work on the background story of the hero. But honestly, I am somewhat done working on his beginning.

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So, back to the point i

So, back to the point i orinally moved past, my bad :/ Do maybe add some color, but go straight to field trip.


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What I am trying to work is,

What I am trying to work is, during the accident, I just want to add a bit more beside a simple wave of dark matter energy exposure, did something happen more? Did he got something else to get powers beside the exposure?

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I think you're focusing too

I think you're focusing too much on the people that surround him more than the character himself. So far you've described everyone from his parents being caring and loving as well as the character idolizing his father due to his great mind and a "rival student" who picks on him occasionally, but not the goals and aspirations your hero has before they get their powers.

Try thinking more about what it is they want out of their life. Maybe brainstorm a few other hobbies and interests they have outside of gaming, anime, and comics. Do they have a dream career they wish to pursue? What is life for them outside of school? Do they have an after-school job? Things like these can further cement the character as a person than just a piece of fiction. Something people can point at and say "Hey, I've been in this guy's shoes before.". I think that it's important to nail the secret identity first before focusing on the hero identity. After all one of the main things about superheroes is that most of them display two different personalities when they're out in public as their namesake and when they're out in public living their social lives.

"If I am to die in battle, Remember me for who I was and not what I've become..."

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Glitch404 wrote:
Glitch404 wrote:

I think you're focusing too much on the people that surround him more than the character himself. So far you've described everyone from his parents being caring and loving as well as the character idolizing his father due to his great mind and a "rival student" who picks on him occasionally, but not the goals and aspirations your hero has before they get their powers.

Try thinking more about what it is they want out of their life. Maybe brainstorm a few other hobbies and interests they have outside of gaming, anime, and comics. Do they have a dream career they wish to pursue? What is life for them outside of school? Do they have an after-school job? Things like these can further cement the character as a person than just a piece of fiction. Something people can point at and say "Hey, I've been in this guy's shoes before.". I think that it's important to nail the secret identity first before focusing on the hero identity. After all one of the main things about superheroes is that most of them display two different personalities when they're out in public as their namesake and when they're out in public living their social lives.

Good points!


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Glitch404 wrote:
Glitch404 wrote:

I think you're focusing too much on the people that surround him more than the character himself. So far you've described everyone from his parents being caring and loving as well as the character idolizing his father due to his great mind and a "rival student" who picks on him occasionally, but not the goals and aspirations your hero has before they get their powers.

Try thinking more about what it is they want out of their life. Maybe brainstorm a few other hobbies and interests they have outside of gaming, anime, and comics. Do they have a dream career they wish to pursue? What is life for them outside of school? Do they have an after-school job? Things like these can further cement the character as a person than just a piece of fiction. Something people can point at and say "Hey, I've been in this guy's shoes before.". I think that it's important to nail the secret identity first before focusing on the hero identity. After all one of the main things about superheroes is that most of them display two different personalities when they're out in public as their namesake and when they're out in public living their social lives.

That helps a lot, Thanks!

"Science is the gift of humanity that we all should treasure."

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So I thought, the character

So I thought, the character that might his real name goes by Richie, he is young lad with interest of having activities when motivated, he wish someday he could become a director for future movies (or comic book related movies) with ideas he comes up with, he has shown to have some experties on some technologies. He has a small club after-school where he hangs around doing certain activites and sometime cleaning the school hall as a premission from the principle every thursday by the after-school club leader's choice. He can be seen sometime akward around certain conversation but also has some confidence to keep track in conversation and usually can be seen as someone who likes to have things entertainment.

So far so good with who he is.

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So a movie-buff, that's

So a movie-buff, that's definitely a personable trait :)


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Richie tends to enjoy night

Richie tends to enjoy night time since he finds it beautiful when the air is cold but cold enough that you can chill instead of feeling cold, Richie of course is gaming sometime and wakes up earlier than he expects which he hates and sometime feels like he is treated like a puppet whenever he does the cleaning after-school club in the hall while others hangs around other activities which he gladly wish he could join if it wasn't for the club leader he sometime gets annoyed for her bossy attitude.

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It's at this pointI'll ask,

It's at this point I'll ask, is this just a comic-book version of you? :p


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DesViper wrote:
DesViper wrote:

It's at this point I'll ask, is this just a comic-book version of you? :p

I took some parts of me in it but nope.

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Friend of mine suggested

Friend of mine suggested thinking on your character's dislikes and flaws and looks like you already started going there. So far, looks like you are making good progress on developing your character. :)

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Timothius wrote:
Timothius wrote:

Friend of mine suggested thinking on your character's dislikes and flaws and looks like you already started going there. So far, looks like you are making good progress on developing your character. :)

Thanks! I am about to get to the part of the field trip!

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So far, I have come. One day,

So far, I have come.

One day, his friend Shion Takamiya, who is incredibly wealthy and her family owns biggest companies known the world decided to bring a good idea in the class when a teacher was about to take them to a historical field trip which everyone felt it wasn't joyful til she brought better idea to bring them over a field trip to her father's work about technologies and other such interesting view which everyone cheered and the teacher of course accepted it, Richie didn't at first want to join but Shion convinced him to join since her father wish to meet him for once helping her from two boys bullying her back in kindergarden. He accepted it. Someday around a week later, they visited to the industry called Taka Industries where they were free to walk across the area to check around newer stuff, until everyone were called upon to meet to a demostration they were going to demostrate, was a machinery that has powered dark matter energy to show the visible energy that could impress them, Richie was a bit interested to know.

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Always good to get some

Always good to get some female aspects into the story and Friends are more useful than 'girl-friends'. Romance is great, later in the tale. Let the character grow up first.

Be Well!
Fireheart

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Actually it's physically

Actually it's physically impossible to write a comic book character without a love interest. It's like dividing by zero :p


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Transformers managed. ;) But

Transformers managed. ;) But yes; romantic angle is huge. Every story I wrote wound up with one or more.

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Actually Shazam and Captain

Actually Shazam and Captain Marvel managed to avoid romantic subplots so they're automatically 8/10 movies at least.


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Are his parents alive?

Are his parents alive?
Is his family wealthy, poor, middle class?
Where is he from? Antarctica, New York? Hell, Montana?
Does he have a girlfriend? Boyfriend? Pet Robot? Dog? Tarantula?
Is he nerdy, buff? Athletic? Fat?
Is he nerdy? Smart? Artistic?
Does he like to cook? Run? Play football? Sew? Knit?
Is he religious? Progressive? Conservative?

Answer half of these and you will have a good start.

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Some Yahoo wrote:
Some Yahoo wrote:

Are his parents alive?
Is his family wealthy, poor, middle class?
Where is he from? Antarctica, New York? Hell, Montana?
Does he have a girlfriend? Boyfriend? Pet Robot? Dog? Tarantula?
Is he nerdy, buff? Athletic? Fat?
Is he nerdy? Smart? Artistic?
Does he like to cook? Run? Play football? Sew? Knit?
Is he religious? Progressive? Conservative?

Answer half of these and you will have a good start.

I'll do this for a toon just for fun :p

Parents: alive
Family: poor
From: originally Minneapolis
Loved ones: nah

**record scratch** hey you used "nerdy" as a body type and personality type >:(

Body type: very athletic
Personality type: smart but somber at times
Hobbies: -- didn't get to that --
Politics: Far Left, anti-religious.


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DesViper wrote:
DesViper wrote:

anti-religious.

Do you mean he hates religion, or just 'doesn't DO it', for which the term 'irreligious' might suit?

'Agnostic' means (literally) that you 'know nothing' about 'the truth'.
'Irreligious' means that you figure that anyone who claims to 'know' is likely full of it, and trying to pick your pocket.

At least the ones who practice what they preach are internally consistent, but that doesn't mean their 'way' will work for you.

So, how nerdy? Hobbies? Role-Playing? Rocketry? Sports? Computers? Origami? Car Mechanic? Nude Mud Wrestling?

Be Well!
Fireheart

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No I mean against religion as

No I mean against religion as a social institution, although that might be silly in a world where magic does exist...nevertheless, that's his tendency.

I'll have to give though as to hobbies that would add to his character.


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DesViper wrote:
DesViper wrote:
Fireheart wrote:
DesViper wrote:

anti-religious.

Do you mean he hates religion, or just 'doesn't DO it', for which the term 'irreligious' might suit?

'Agnostic' means (literally) that you 'know nothing' about 'the truth'.
'Irreligious' means that you figure that anyone who claims to 'know' is likely full of it, and trying to pick your pocket.

At least the ones who practice what they preach are internally consistent, but that doesn't mean their 'way' will work for you.

No I mean against religion as a social institution, although that might be silly in a world where magic does exist...nevertheless, that's his tendency.

Not to get too picky about a potentially touchy subject but maybe saying the character is "anti organized religion" might be a better descriptive phrase to convey the dislike of the "social institution" aspect of this. The strict textbook definition of 'irreligious' actually seems to carry an element of "hostility towards god/religion" that DesViper might not have been going for. The another word to use here might be "areligious" but even that by itself is probably a bit too vague.

There are plenty of people in this world who consider themselves believers in a "traditional monotheistic deity" but don't necessarily buy into any organized religion. A "lapsed Catholic" for example might not necessarily hate the Catholic church - they might just be too lazy to go to church on Sunday even though they may still consider themselves to be Catholic.

I'm just saying it's probably worth making it clear whether a character like this is openly and/or specifically "hostile towards god/religion" or just "dislikes the typical bureaucratic institutions surrounding the core belief in a deity".

CoH player from April 25, 2004 to November 30, 2012

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He has no clue if God exist

He has no clue if God exist or not nor does he care, he is more 'chillegion', where he just enjoys life as it is.

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Hablaguy28 wrote:
Hablaguy28 wrote:

He has no clue if God exist or not nor does he care, he is more 'chillegion', where he just enjoys life as it is.

That's fine. It's really totally up to you whether all this is even an "issue" for your CoT characters or not.

I've had plenty of characters in various games where I never even bothered to consider the question of "religion" as it related to them. Of course when I created Clerics for D&D I was forced to consider the subject a little more directly. ;)

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Lothic wrote:
Lothic wrote:
Hablaguy28 wrote:

He has no clue if God exist or not nor does he care, he is more 'chillegion', where he just enjoys life as it is.

That's fine. It's really totally up to you whether all this is even an "issue" for your CoT characters or not.

I've had plenty of characters in various games where I never even bothered to consider the question of "religion" as it related to them. Of course when I created Clerics for D&D I was forced to consider the subject a little more directly. ;)

Yup! But his statement to this will be, "It's fine others has fate and belief in their 'lord and savior' dog, I mean god. Sorry, but I don't know if he exist or not, Let alone I don't give a damn because I just want to live myself without exception or knowing a force out there rulling me because he's 'above' me. Otherwise, I'm just enjoying my life with my powers too."

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(I realize that the OP has

(I realize that the OP has not responded, but...)

Ok, now instead of just randomly answering the questions, figure out what that means for the character.
If he hates religion, would he blow up a church?
It's hard to sell a "chill" superhero. That kind of person tends to not be very heroic - or villainous for that matter. The only one I can remotely think of would be Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy.
It's also hard to have a backstory without any friends or anyone/anything he cares about.
If he is a super-powered total loner only interested in chilling, I can't say I'd be interested in that story very much.

"Chill Man - I wish these villains would just leave me alone!"

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Some Yahoo wrote:
Some Yahoo wrote:

(I realize that the OP has not responded, but...)

Ok, now instead of just randomly answering the questions, figure out what that means for the character.
If he hates religion, would he blow up a church?
It's hard to sell a "chill" superhero. That kind of person tends to not be very heroic - or villainous for that matter. The only one I can remotely think of would be Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy.
It's also hard to have a backstory without any friends or anyone/anything he cares about.
If he is a super-powered total loner only interested in chilling, I can't say I'd be interested in that story very much.

"Chill Man - I wish these villains would just leave me alone!"

I think his statement already has answered. And clearly was answered that he has emotions so he does care, when I describe him as chilling, I describe him that if it's just a normal average day or sometime a man robbering an old woman's purse, he can be chill while doing the superhero work, he will be serious at times if say, a supervillain kidnaps his best friend and held her for ransome or threating to take her life. Just because he can chill and enjoy his life does not mean he's automatically a overly relaxed guy that shows no emotion or care.

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Some Yahoo wrote:
Some Yahoo wrote:

(I realize that the OP has not responded, but...)

Ok, now instead of just randomly answering the questions, figure out what that means for the character.
If he hates religion, would he blow up a church?
It's hard to sell a "chill" superhero. That kind of person tends to not be very heroic - or villainous for that matter. The only one I can remotely think of would be Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy.
It's also hard to have a backstory without any friends or anyone/anything he cares about.
If he is a super-powered total loner only interested in chilling, I can't say I'd be interested in that story very much.

"Chill Man - I wish these villains would just leave me alone!"

Sure Star Lord might be a good example of a "laid back" roguish hero but there are still things that motivate him. I suppose you could boil all this down to "motivation". What "motivates" any character to want to bother putting on his/her hero/villain tights and go out to fight for anything.

I guess you could say a given character does it because "he/she's bored and got nothing better to do" but I'd have to agree that doesn't really fit the whole "comic book" setting the game is geared for. Not saying that every character has to always be "The Savior of the Universe" either - just probably needs to be something more than "just chill'n".

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K this thread isn't about my

K this thread isn't about my character but I know the difference between antireligous, non-religious, irreligious, agnostic, anti organized religion, etc.


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Some Yahoo wrote:(I realize
Some Yahoo wrote:

(I realize that the OP has not responded, but...)

Ok, now instead of just randomly answering the questions, figure out what that means for the character.
If he hates religion, would he blow up a church?

Okay well I can't let that slide :p

Smog wouldn't blow up a church, he's not an anti-church extremist. But if they were all converted to secular community centers he'd vote for that proposal.

Galrithius on the other hand.....


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