Become a Titan
Watch this space for important information on planned twitch streams, updates and more
It's green because the rikti found our world and put a force field around it to conquer the world
I wish for justice!!!!
Justice has arrived! However, people have been fed psudo-justice for so long that no one knows what justice is anymore
I wish the universe ended just outside our solar system
It does! And Voyager just punctured our solar system. The high pitched squeal of escaping phlogiston makes fingernails on a blackboard sound like Mozart.
I wish I wasn't always running late
"The illusion which exalts us is dearer to us than ten thousand truths." - Pushkin "One piece of flair is all I need." - Sister Silicon
Granted. You never run late anymore, but you are killed in a car accident a day after while waiting for a bus which could have been avoided had you come late to the bus stop.
I wish for PARMIGIANO REGGIANO!
Granted you are an ingredient of a weird Japaneses ice-cream desert
I wish I did not revive that promotion where I have to do the worst part of my bosses job and the worst part of my old job,
with me never getting a chance to do the fun parts of my old job.
Granted. Now, you have to do the worst part of your job twice with less money.
I wish I had a non-poisonous ice cream in a cone.
The fact that I don't have a sig is a nemesis plot, but now that there is one, it could only mean...that my head hurts.
Granted its broccoli and cauliflower flavored and the cone is baked unleavened beet root flour.
its not poisonous but it tastes horrible.
I wish the nemesis plot would fail.
Granted. But the plot that failed was just a cover for Nemmie's *real* plot, which succeeded!
I wish that the City of Tabbies (CoT) game would be out already so that we can fight the Good Fight!
You receive an early release of 'City about Tabbies', with screeching catfights! Unfortunately it wakes up the neighbors and an angry boot is thrown through your computer screen.
I wish CoT came with the ability to send your hero to Shapeways for immortalization.
Granted but you have to wait for the Mission creator expansion.
I wish whip 's corruption of my last wish actually worked . Because the worst part of my old job was much better then the worst part of my boss's old job. And now my boss' boss is making a special project list and my name is at the top.
Granted. But afterwards, you are reassigned, to perform the worst aspects of your old job, your new job, and your boss's job, at the lowest price legal, forever.
I wish for a certain magical artefact (that shall not be described here, for this information would be dangerous indeed in the wrong tentacles - or hands, in your case) was in the possession of the Cephalopod Council.
Save the endangered Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus from Extinction!
Granted, but the Cephalopod Council won't let you touch it. This is probably a good thing, as most magical artifacts have a corrupting effect on their possessors and now You are free from such corruption, so you'll be able to destroy the magical artifact and the corrupted Council. Of course, if you do that, your fellow squids will never trust you again... Have fun!
I wish my local library would hurry up and buy the latest books from my favorite authors!
Granted. But while I resurrect my fellow Cephalopod Councillors, one of the most fell beings in the universe (Nrezqro', the Corruptor of Cosmic Causality and Continuity, also known as the Divine Decadence of Dementia, Tmolstr and Mary Sue) nearly escapes from its prison. Of course, it is ultimately unsuccessful, but its horrible influence on the mind of mortals (particularly on those of artistic talent, or at least those with delusions of artistic talents) grew larger, affecting even your favourite authors. These latest books are of such terrible horribleness that any who read them fall into a deep psychotic depression (also, suicide rates increase by 2345%, particularly among young humans who spend much time on the Internet),
Save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus from Extinction! If you let it go extinct, it would break all three hearts of Srarx!
Shazam. A little blockbuster magic ensues, and the Earth's magnetic poles are reversed. This causes the vast Florida infestations of Pacific Southeast Tree Octopus to become effectively 'Northwest', saving the previously threatened species from extinction. However the changing magnetic field also upsets the annual migration of this octopi plague (from Miami back to the Pacific Ocean) resulting in another near extinction and the genesis of the Wayward Atlantic Northwest Tree Octopus that keeps crawling drunkenly up your leg.
I wish science was easy.
Granted you realize that science is super easy and become the worlds greatest scientist but get slaughtered by a jealous rival who wished to be the best.
I wish that City of Titans arrived with my new PC.
Granted. However, you ragequit before you ever get to play the game because your version of the game didn't have the in-game Amerikatt shoulder kitty/sidekick.
I wish that the Golden Age Amerikatt hadn't died saving Paragon Earth during the "Calamity on Multiple Earths" 12-issue maxi-series!
Granted. But because she was prevented from making that sacrifice, Paragon Earth perished, and Golden Age Amerikatt spent several years in limbo before finding her way out via the Fae Lands to Phoenix Plaza - specifically in the fountain. :(
I wish to have my City of Tabbies tee shirt in time for Comic-Con.
Foradain, Mage of Phoenix Rising.Foradain's Character Conclave
Avatar courtesy of Satellite Nine.
If you can't see an image I've posted, please let me know!
you are accosted by an angry horde of tabby cats who are enraged at the blood spilled to make your shirt out of the skin of their dead
I wish it was legal to throw babies off of a roof
Granted but you it becomes illegal again and you got locked up in prison for life!
I wish that there was a local comic book shop.
Granted. But the "local" comic book shop is located in Yukutsk, Siberia!
I wish that Amerikatt's first sidekick, Timmy (now known as the supervillain "Timmy the Tabby Terror") hadn't fallen prey to the insidiousness of catnip addiction.
Granted! But because of never becoming a villain due to his catnip problem, Timmy continued being a sidekick until ultimately was declawed by amerikatt's crafty and evil villain, the vile veterinarian Dr. Horror. Timmy went through years of training to overcome his handicap in the mountains of japan. There he trained under a sect of cat ninjas and ultimately came back to America as a dark and edgy anti hero, complete with a black spandex outfit. Enjoy!
I wish for apple pie :D!!!!
May the wings of liberty never lose a feather
*pies you in the face and then hides in the bushes giggling like a 6 year old*
I wish for the power to summon pie at will
Granted. You can now summon pie whenever Mr. Weaton is present and it automatically launches at him, while the Brobdingnagian Bards play "Call Me Al".
I wish I had ice cream.
Granted. But it's wasabi ice cream!
I wish that the planet Kyton, home of a race of superintelligent supercats, hadn't been destroyed during a great cosmic calamity.
Ah, but it wasn't! The Kytonese are hiding the fact that they all, quite mysteriously, turned into dogs one sad day. I'd tell you more, but they might hear!
I wish you all a simply marvelous day.
Granted. Everyone is simple and having a marvelous time.
I wish cephalopods had longer lifespans.
- - - - -Hail Beard!
Support trap clowns for CoT!
Granted. Cephalopods have longer life spans, but shorter attention spans.
I wish that Ascendant will have a very large statue in Phoenix Park.
Granted! But the sculptor depicted Ascendant with having very unflattering large thighs.
I wish for the Dallas Cowboys to win a Super Bowl! In my lifetime of course :p
Granted! You are now immortal.
I wish for wuv. Twoo wuv.
You become owner and president of the german company "Werben Und Verkaufen"
I wish for a massive bag of smarties.
Granted! but every time you eat them they make you immediately poop/vomit them out.
I wish that whenever i go to a drive-thru in my pyjamas i won't see loads of people i know :/
Granted. You spend the rest of your life, trapped in your car, in the drive-thru, and nobody comes to rescue you.
And the drive through only plays 'Roller blade 7', for all eternity.
I wish for the power of telekinesis.
Granted! You become a hero/villain by using your newly manifested powers but you get captured by secret society of some sort and they use all your DNA and blood to build telekinetic super soldiers.
I wish that there was watermelon flavor for everything.
Granted! Only after 2 weeks you have grown tired of watermelon and secretly wish for everything to be grape flavored.
I wish to know what to wish for
Granted! but then you forgot what to wish for (lol)
I wish i never stood on my dog Marley's poop then embedded it on my newly carpeted stairs :'(
Granted! But due to the strange butterfly effect of the poo never being stepped on, it somehow was stricken with radioactive goo. Now a large mutated poo monster, it levels your whole neighborhood before ultimately being blown up by the national guards. Your carpet is now worse off then before
I wish I didn't forget the wish I suppose to wish for
Granted, but because knowing what to wish for is a granted wish you cannot wish for that which you now know you wish to wish.
I wish I had the best TV in the whole, wide world.
Granted! you receive the best TV in the whole, wide world, but unfortunately you are in an accident that makes you blind and deaf.
I wish that i had the white Xbox One.
Granted! But that one game you really wanted to play only came out for the ps4.
I wish for a rated r hulk vs wolverine movie
Granted. You get Hulk vs Wolverine movie based on the best slash fanfic the Internet has to offer.
I wish I really had a real fez.
Granted. But the djinn wants it back right away, otherwise he'll be out of uniform.
I wish my house was a TARDIS.
Granted! but your house gets robbed and you are homeless.
I wish i had a giant pack of Bunch O' Balloons.
Granted, your fingers turn into Balloons.
I wish folks would answer my super dilemma.
But it was answered by someone who thinks you needed to give more data, and doesn't believe in the "no-win scenario", and so his answer is not the "release or don't release" you may have been hoping for. ^_^
I wish my cat was feeling better. :(
(edit: hey, I actually granted a wish here!)
(congratulations on actually granting a wish, I'll check soon)
Granted, your cat feels next doors dog, which is called 'better'.
I with I had an endless tankard of beer.
Granted! but when you go to drink the beer it is actually out of date milk :(
I wish that I liked every single food.
Granted. But your obsession with food that is not currently in a relationship means no more curries, stir fries or seven secret herbs and spices for you!
I wish I could get to sleep.
Granted, you chase after your neighbors dog, which is called 'sleep'.
The dog runs away, and you chase it forever.
I wish that my hair was purple.
Granted, but due to the new uniform guidelines written by the world's new Lord and Master, me, you must either turn it back to its original color or dye it black.
The Nightmare wishes he could capture those meddling heroes and their accursed Amerikatt.
Revenge is motivation enough. At least it's honest...
Roleplayer; Esteemed Villain
Granted! But due to capturing all the heroes (amerikatt specifically) you devolved Parental love for them and set free all the heroes, who hadn't had enough time to develop Stockholm syndrome, so they busted you and took you to the ziggurat.
I wish for the raiders to move to San Antonio
San Antonio is suddenly besieged by an army of Viking bikers brandishing laser guns and wizard powers, they kill all their children, steal all their women and enslave all their men.
I wish I was an elf
Granted but now you want to be a Dentist.
The Nightmare wishes for a superpowered dog to attack Amerikatt, Border Commie!
Granted. Border Commie will be spending the next week at the vet's, and must wear the Cone Of Shame for another week after that to keep him from scratching out the stitches on his head. Amerikatt licks her wound and is fine.
I wish for notears to get a scholarship to learn to be a dentist.
Granted! Notears becomes a dentist but also a sadist. He's always singing Steve Martin's song from little shop of horror during an operation. Police are still trying to figure out if it was notears' malpractice or his off key singing ability that killed his patients.
I wish for Amerikatt to save San Antonio from the vile Viking raiders
Granted, Amerikatt saves San Antonio from the vile Viking raiders.
However, the equally vile Christian Crusaders get through, and make to San Antonio look like SantaModesta after a visit by Crypto Sporidium.
I wish I had a big plate full of roast potatoes.
The roast potato golem's plate armour glistens menacingly. You're gonna need a bigger gravyboat.
I wish City of Titans gets ported to virtual reality goggles in the first release.
Granted. Of course, the additional work that requires delays this first release for... quite a while.
I wish Lord Nightmare would see the errors of his evil ways and become a (competent) hero, with a positive net result.
Granted, Lord Nightmare becomes a competent hero with a net full of octopi. Which is a positive result for him since they are his favorite food.
I wish I could make an excellent journey.
Granted. But when you return from the journey, you find your home destroyed and anyone you cared about massacred.
I wish for certain Japanese media defaming cephalopods to cease to exist.
Granted. The rest of the world's media jump on the bandwagon to defame cephalopods, so the Japanese media gets bored of it and begins reporting on octopus-shaped panties.
I wish I had octopus-shaped panties. For scientific purposes.
Granted. Now, you are perpetually stalked by Japanese paparazzi.
I wish for character and archenemy concepts to play in City of Titans.
The Nightmare grants your petty request. You now have all the character concepts you could ever dream of, but cannot pick which ones to play. Your archenemy concepts, however, are all the Nightmare for there is none greater than Nightmare.
The Nightmare desires that Lord Cthulhu be released from his island prison unto the world!
Granted. Of course, in reality, Cthulhu is one of my greatest servants (don't believe everything some xenophobic horror author tells you), so instead of madness and woe, humanity is gifted with reason and the spirit of the Enlightenment.
I wish for the obliteration of all pseudoscience and quackery!
I wish I cud spel :-P
I used to be indecisive....but now I'm not so sure........
Granted. You have perfect spelling and grammar. In hieroglyphics.
I wish Xnarl were really Wil Wheaton.
P.S. You forgot to grant Xnarl's wish. Although it is Xnarl, so I understand. Granting octopus wishes is always a little freaky.
Yes, I have to admi...
I am pleased to inform you that the Xnarl has returned to the Octopus's Garden in his true form.
I wish to watch the fourth series of Sherlock.
You get the best seats in the house for a special preview! You bring someone special, and some awesome popcorn! It's.. starts with the season finale. It's a cliffhanger.
You spend the rest of the year wondering why Sherlock can't see the obvious, building up frustration about what will to happen next, and being avoided by your friends in case you spoil the ending.
I wish this game didn't require me to be so mean.
Granted...but you can't be airhear any longer. From now on you are User 0815
I wish to be a real Baron.
Thus, I grant you the title of Baron Ashington.
Unfortunately, due to presumptuous madness by those unruly commoners, such as democracy and parity, barons do not actually have any special powers. The only thing you "gain" are paparazzi.
I wish to instantly regain my wallet, with all money and documents present and intact.
Granted, you regain your wallet, but they have already changed to a different currency and your documents are out of date.
I wish i was a cat :3
Granted. You are now a cat. Unfortunately your new afro and affinity for bellbottom jeans are not even close to today's styles and you're ridiculed by everyone.
I desire a jar of dirt.
Granted! Y-your genie g-g-gives you a Jar-Jar of dirt-dirt.
I wish it wasn't wet season in Myanmar.
Granted, it's "Everything is on fire!" season instead.
I wish i had a face.
Granted, but it is so ugly, that anyone who beholds you turns not into stone, but into radioactive sludge
I wish to accurately portray and represent Sophia Dosidicus, Emissary of the Cephalopod Council, in City of Titans.
Granted: turns out she's a very large fan of "certain Japanese media" and does all the things you would expect a cephalopod in said media to do.
I wish for Unlimited Power, the ability to do anything.
You hear the dead, their bones shake and rattle for you to join them. So you will.
The Nightmare grants your pathetic request. You now have unlimited power. Sadly, the power only works in another realm which the Nightmare has just conquered and subsequently destroyed, leaving you without any power at all. MWAHAHAHAHA!
The Nightmare also would like to point out that he now has a Jar of Dirt and would ask you to estimate the contents of it.
ALSO! The Nightmare desires that he stop getting terribad people in Dota and would have a competent team more than once a day!
Double Granted: Your jar of dirt is filled with dirt, as well as the heart of Davy Jones. You also have a competent team in DOTA twice a day, but the enemy team is constantly filled with bloody geniuses.
I wish for complete insanity.
The complete insanity of everyone around you slowly, excruciatingly, drives you nuts.
I wish for a weekend holiday on Kerguelen Island.
Granted. Unfortunately, this weekend, Kerguelen Island will be hit by a tsunami.
I wish for the United States of America to become an English Colony again.
Granted: The Constitution was never written and slavery is widespread throughout the world, also nobody has made any inventions outside of what the monarchs have detailed as what they wanted people to work on, and as such in the year 2013 we finally have gotten rid of sails, but Muskets are still the only long range weapons aside from crossbows, and long range communication is still either yell loud enough or write a letter and hope the postman doesn't get killed by bandits. Bandits are still a thing. Democracy never became widespread and the world has reverted to Feudalist Monarchies. As a result all the worlds leaders are inbred monstrosities. The only religions left are Christian ones, and anybody who dares to think otherwise are killed upon rumour of such. Justice is still "give the best and most convincing plea and hope the ruler isn't feeling cruel." But on the plus side Hitler never came to power and World War 2 never happened, but only because Germany won World War 1.
I wish for the death of Communism.
Granted, although of course, communism is dead anywhere outside of North Korea, anyways, so nothing actually changes.
I wish to be able to be fluent in Ancient Greek, Egyptian and Akkadian, while retaining any skill and knowledge I ever acquired and suffering no further adverse effects.
(Actually communism is alive and well, just look every leftist liberal. Socialism=Communism)
Granted: But every other person who knows said languages have all died, rendering them to all be pretty much just gibberish.
I wish for the death of terrorism.
Granted, but meanwhile, sanity takes over the USA and modernise it.
I wish for the death of American Exceptionalism, "Red Scare" paranoia, reactionaries and wingnuts.
(Really, your claim and your alternative history [on that matter, note the term "again" in the wish] are just... objectively... wrong.)
Granted. However, now that the Nightmare has taken power in this time of trouble, the Blue Scare has started up and many are executed for supposedly being in league with the Nightmare.
The Nightmare desires the entire Cephalopod Council be captured and cooked for his consumption. Space Squid is so delicious..
Granted: The USA now lets it's exceptional talent to go to waste and lets the rest of the world lead... leading to a stagnation of culture and science, except for Israel... they're still winning nobel prizes left right and center. Meanwhile the anti-gay movement of that one crappy church has ended, same with the incredibly pro-gay movements that were really just "if you don't love gays then your a bigot", while the nuts on both sides of the political realm seem to have all died off... though its mainly just leftists... and John Boehner, as well as that old white guy who ran with Sarah Palin. Also, nobody in the USA realises the horrors of communism, leading to a severe lack of people fighting against it... as a result Communism becomes much more widespread.
(read up some actual history... not that revisionist history crap. Also, if the idea of all men being equal was never made, then how would slavery be abolished to the level it is... the USA is the only nation in the history of the world to fight a war for the death of slavery. The USA is the first nation to give the keys of business and industry to the people, and especially under the promise of being able to try and become happy. Under such a free-market system the US quickly became the world leader in both economics and science, and due to people being able to risk everything for fame and fortune, many thing's that would never have been invented have been. Like the Engine, or the plane, or the Wind Tunnel, or the car, or the TV, or the Video Game, or the movie or pretty much anything else really...)
I wish for a worldwide adoption of Free Markets (with some regulations so everybody play's fair and treats their workers like people) and the death of Elitism.
Granted: Properly-regulated Free Markets break out all over the world. However, the resulting surge of incentive-driven humanity develops, among other things, limitless clean energy and the means to convert energy into matter. The net result is free and limitless material goods (food, textiles, technology, etc.). The incredible abundance causes the relative value of everything to plummet, making all forms of currency worthless. Since everything is free and easy to aquire, there is no incentive to drive humanity. Without that drive, humanity stagnates, becomes fat and lazy (like in Wall-E) and eventually dies out due to health complications and other factors.
Wish: I wish for the ability to manipulate matter, at the atomic level, and the skill to do so without blowing stuff up (unless that was my goal).
Kickstarter Backer # 1337
Granted: You never need to work a day in your life, and so you get fat and lazy... even when you use your new power to get rid of the fat, there is always more in your bloodstream that you forgot about. This eventually leads to your death.
I wish for... basicly a new age of the Wild West but in the endless void of space.
Granted. Isn't that essentially EVE online? Except all the ships fly at sub-luminous speeds.
I wish for an enduring spirit capable of reforming my body using my matter-manipulating powers.
Edited for clarity.
Granted, however your body is now stuck in this tiny bottle for the Nightmare's amusement.
The Nightmare wishes his previous post be acknowledged!
Granted: Here have some space squid... to bad there's now an entire race of space squids that will war against you.
I wish for some foresight. (no you pervs not that)