It does! And Voyager just punctured our solar system. The high pitched squeal of escaping phlogiston makes fingernails on a blackboard sound like Mozart.

I wish I wasn't always running late

Granted you are an ingredient of a weird Japaneses ice-cream desert

I wish I did not revive that promotion where I have to do the worst part of my bosses job and the worst part of my old job,
with me never getting a chance to do the fun parts of my old job.

Granted its broccoli and cauliflower flavored and the cone is baked unleavened beet root flour.
its not poisonous but it tastes horrible.

I wish the nemesis plot would fail.

You receive an early release of 'City about Tabbies', with screeching catfights! Unfortunately it wakes up the neighbors and an angry boot is thrown through your computer screen.

I wish CoT came with the ability to send your hero to Shapeways for immortalization.

Granted. But afterwards, you are reassigned, to perform the worst aspects of your old job, your new job, and your boss's job, at the lowest price legal, forever.

I wish for a certain magical artefact (that shall not be described here, for this information would be dangerous indeed in the wrong tentacles - or hands, in your case) was in the possession of the Cephalopod Council.

Granted. But while I resurrect my fellow Cephalopod Councillors, one of the most fell beings in the universe (Nrezqro', the Corruptor of Cosmic Causality and Continuity, also known as the Divine Decadence of Dementia, Tmolstr and Mary Sue) nearly escapes from its prison. Of course, it is ultimately unsuccessful, but its horrible influence on the mind of mortals (particularly on those of artistic talent, or at least those with delusions of artistic talents) grew larger, affecting even your favourite authors. These latest books are of such terrible horribleness that any who read them fall into a deep psychotic depression (also, suicide rates increase by 2345%, particularly among young humans who spend much time on the Internet),

[url=http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/] Save the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus from Extinction![/url] If you let it go extinct, it would break all three hearts of Srarx!

Granted you realize that science is super easy and become the worlds greatest scientist but get slaughtered by a jealous rival who wished to be the best.

I wish that City of Titans arrived with my new PC.

Granted. But because she was prevented from making that sacrifice, Paragon Earth perished, and Golden Age Amerikatt spent several years in limbo before finding her way out via the Fae Lands to Phoenix Plaza - specifically in the fountain. :(

I wish to have my City of Tabbies tee shirt in time for Comic-Con.

Granted but you it becomes illegal again and you got locked up in prison for life!

I wish that there was a local comic book shop.

Granted! But because of never becoming a villain due to his catnip problem, Timmy continued being a sidekick until ultimately was declawed by amerikatt's crafty and evil villain, the vile veterinarian Dr. Horror. Timmy went through years of training to overcome his handicap in the mountains of japan. There he trained under a sect of cat ninjas and ultimately came back to America as a dark and edgy anti hero, complete with a black spandex outfit. Enjoy!

I wish for apple pie :D!!!!

Granted. You can now summon pie whenever Mr. Weaton is present and it automatically launches at him, while the Brobdingnagian Bards play "Call Me Al".

I wish I had ice cream.

Ah, but it wasn't! The Kytonese are hiding the fact that they all, quite mysteriously, turned into dogs one sad day. I'd tell you more, but they might hear!

I wish you all a simply marvelous day.

Be Well!
Fireheart

Granted. Cephalopods have longer life spans, but shorter attention spans.

I wish that Ascendant will have a very large statue in Phoenix Park.

Granted! You are now immortal.

I wish for wuv. Twoo wuv.

Granted! but every time you eat them they make you immediately poop/vomit them out.

I wish that whenever i go to a drive-thru in my pyjamas i won't see loads of people i know :/

Granted! You become a hero/villain by using your newly manifested powers but you get captured by secret society of some sort and they use all your DNA and blood to build telekinetic super soldiers.

I wish that there was watermelon flavor for everything.

Granted! but then you forgot what to wish for (lol)

I wish i never stood on my dog Marley's poop then embedded it on my newly carpeted stairs :'(

Granted, but because knowing what to wish for is a granted wish you cannot wish for that which you now know you wish to wish.

I wish I had the best TV in the whole, wide world.

Granted! But that one game you really wanted to play only came out for the ps4.

I wish for a rated r hulk vs wolverine movie

Granted. But the djinn wants it back right away, otherwise he'll be out of uniform.

I wish my house was a TARDIS.

Granted, your fingers turn into Balloons.

I wish folks would answer my super dilemma.

(congratulations on actually granting a wish, I'll check soon)

Granted, your cat feels next doors dog, which is called 'better'.

I with I had an endless tankard of beer.

Granted. But your obsession with food that is not currently in a relationship means no more curries, stir fries or seven secret herbs and spices for you!

I wish I could get to sleep.

Granted, but due to the new uniform guidelines written by the world's new Lord and Master, me, you must either turn it back to its original color or dye it black.

The Nightmare wishes he could capture those meddling heroes and their accursed Amerikatt.

San Antonio is suddenly besieged by an army of Viking bikers brandishing laser guns and wizard powers, they kill all their children, steal all their women and enslave all their men.

I wish I was an elf

Granted. Border Commie will be spending the next week at the vet's, and must wear the Cone Of Shame for another week after that to keep him from scratching out the stitches on his head. Amerikatt licks her wound and is fine.

I wish for notears to get a scholarship to learn to be a dentist.

Granted, Amerikatt saves San Antonio from the vile Viking raiders.
However, the equally vile Christian Crusaders get through, and make to San Antonio look like SantaModesta after a visit by Crypto Sporidium.

I wish I had a big plate full of roast potatoes.

Granted. Of course, the additional work that requires delays this first release for... quite a while.

I wish Lord Nightmare would see the errors of his evil ways and become a (competent) hero, with a positive net result.

Granted. But when you return from the journey, you find your home destroyed and anyone you cared about massacred.

I wish for certain Japanese media defaming cephalopods to cease to exist.

Granted. Now, you are perpetually stalked by Japanese paparazzi.

I wish for character and archenemy concepts to play in City of Titans.

Granted. Of course, in reality, Cthulhu is one of my greatest servants (don't believe everything some xenophobic horror author tells you), so instead of madness and woe, humanity is gifted with reason and the spirit of the Enlightenment.

I wish for the obliteration of all pseudoscience and quackery!

Granted. You have perfect spelling and grammar. In hieroglyphics.

I wish Xnarl were really Wil Wheaton.

[br]
P.S. You forgot to grant Xnarl's wish. Although it is Xnarl, so I understand. Granting octopus wishes is always a little freaky.

You get the best seats in the house for a special preview! You bring someone special, and some awesome popcorn! It's.. starts with the season finale. It's a cliffhanger.

You spend the rest of the year wondering why Sherlock can't see the obvious, building up frustration about what will to happen next, and being avoided by your friends in case you spoil the ending.

I wish this game didn't require me to be so mean.

Thus, I grant you the title of Baron Ashington.
Unfortunately, due to presumptuous madness by those unruly commoners, such as [I]democracy[/I] and [I]parity[/I], barons do not actually have any special powers. The only thing you "gain" are paparazzi.

I wish to instantly regain my wallet, with all money and documents present and intact.

Granted. You are now a cat. Unfortunately your new afro and affinity for bellbottom jeans are not even close to today's styles and you're ridiculed by everyone.

I desire a jar of dirt.

Granted, it's "Everything is on fire!" season instead.

I wish i had a face.

Granted: turns out she's a very large fan of "certain Japanese media" and does all the things you would expect a cephalopod in said media to do.

I wish for Unlimited Power, the ability to do anything.

Double Granted: Your jar of dirt is filled with dirt, as well as the heart of Davy Jones. You also have a competent team in DOTA twice a day, but the enemy team is constantly filled with bloody geniuses.

I wish for complete insanity.

Granted. Unfortunately, this weekend, Kerguelen Island will be hit by a tsunami.

I wish for the United States of America to become an English Colony again.

Granted, although of course, communism is dead anywhere outside of North Korea, anyways, so nothing actually changes.

I wish to be able to be fluent in Ancient Greek, Egyptian and Akkadian, while retaining any skill and knowledge I ever acquired and suffering no further adverse effects.

Granted, but meanwhile, sanity takes over the USA and modernise it.

I wish for the death of American Exceptionalism, "Red Scare" paranoia, reactionaries and wingnuts.

(Really, your claim and your alternative history [on that matter, note the term "again" in the wish] are just... objectively... wrong.)

Granted: The USA now lets it's exceptional talent to go to waste and lets the rest of the world lead... leading to a stagnation of culture and science, except for Israel... they're still winning nobel prizes left right and center. Meanwhile the anti-gay movement of that one crappy church has ended, same with the incredibly pro-gay movements that were really just "if you don't love gays then your a bigot", while the nuts on both sides of the political realm seem to have all died off... though its mainly just leftists... and John Boehner, as well as that old white guy who ran with Sarah Palin. Also, nobody in the USA realises the horrors of communism, leading to a severe lack of people fighting against it... as a result Communism becomes much more widespread.

(read up some actual history... not that revisionist history crap. Also, if the idea of all men being equal was never made, then how would slavery be abolished to the level it is... the USA is the only nation in the history of the world to fight a war for the death of slavery. The USA is the first nation to give the keys of business and industry to the people, and especially under the promise of being able to try and become happy. Under such a free-market system the US quickly became the world leader in both economics and science, and due to people being able to risk everything for fame and fortune, many thing's that would never have been invented have been. Like the Engine, or the plane, or the Wind Tunnel, or the car, or the TV, or the Video Game, or the movie or pretty much anything else really...)

I wish for a worldwide adoption of Free Markets (with some regulations so everybody play's fair and treats their workers like people) and the death of Elitism.

Granted: You never need to work a day in your life, and so you get fat and lazy... even when you use your new power to get rid of the fat, there is always more in your bloodstream that you forgot about. This eventually leads to your death.

I wish for... basicly a new age of the Wild West but in the endless void of space.

Granted, however your body is now stuck in this tiny bottle for the Nightmare's amusement.

The Nightmare wishes his previous post be acknowledged!