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WELCOME TO BOOTCAMP! Lesson 1: Motivation

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Ozmosis
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WELCOME TO BOOTCAMP! Lesson 1: Motivation

***DISCLAIMER***
- This exercise is by NO means mandatory. So please, if you have other obligations or assignments, we ask that you focus on those first.
- Content discussed in this thread will NOT be used as game content, this is an exercise in writing only and nothing discussed here should be taken seriously.
- This exercise is open to everyone, and is NOT limited to MWM employees. Fans and the general public are welcome to participate
- Participation in this game should NOT be considered as an application to become a member of the MWM staff.

Hello all!

The goal of these threads will simply be to have fun while working out our collective writing chops! It is also open to everyone, from MWM employees to the general public. The reason for this is to help encourage Dev/Fan base relations. So feel free to be creative, but be sure to follow the exercise guidelines. If enough people participate, more of these games/lessons will be added.

Today’s game is about being creative with character motivations! Every character in a story should have a motivation, something that drives them forward, that gives them a reason to get up in the morning. Simply put; motivation is what makes a character do what they do! The goal is to practice writing a backstory for an already established character.

***Rules***
1. Below are 5 "candidate" pictures with a name and a job assigned to them. Select ONE of the 5 photos to work with.
2. Write three different bios for the picture you select: Who is this person if he was a Hero. Who is this person if he was a Villain. Who is this person if he was a Civilian.
3. All 3 bios have a limit of 10 phrases each!
4. Within each bio you will write, you must include WHO the character is (name provided), WHERE he/she is from, WHAT does he/she do (job provided), HOW does he/she do it, and most importanly WHY does he/she do it.

Candidates: *links lead to images, not websites.*

1. http://free-images.gatag.net/images/l201205181200.jpg
Name: Saruwatari
Profession: Male Model.

2. http://img.wikinut.com/img/21vd32n8ji120o7j/jpeg/180x300/http%3A-www.public-domain-photos.com.jpeg
Name:
Tessa
Profession: Child care.

3. http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8513/8550488989_575cf97c96_b.jpg
Name: Olaf
Profession: Business man.

4. http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7170/6452228555_05fc8f3f9b_b.jpg
Name: Melina
Profession: Musician.

5. http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/pictures/30000/nahled/portrait-of-a-man-1331296228TGX.jpg
Name: Marco
Profession: Plumber.

When replying/posting, I ask that you clearly identify yourself by posting this template:
Name and forum handle: John Doe (a.k.a. Doe Boy)
Status: MWM Employee or Fanbase
Position: Lead, Dev, Contract, Fanboy/girl, etc.

When posting your separate bios, please do so as such:
Who is this person as a Hero:
Who is this person as a Villain.:
Who is this person as a Civilian.:

Now have fun with it! And look for the next game which will be about integration!

______
You wear a mask to hide who you are, I wear a mask to show who I am.

Staff Writer, Composition Team

Zombie Man
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SIr! Yes, Sir!

SIr! Yes, Sir!

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Ozmosis
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Zombie Man wrote:
Zombie Man wrote:

SIr! Yes, Sir!

I'm saving my sargeant impersonnation for lesson 3! :P

______
You wear a mask to hide who you are, I wear a mask to show who I am.

Staff Writer, Composition Team

storytime
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Aw, fun game!

Aw, fun game!

Forum handle: storytime
Status: Fan base
Position: Some dimbus
I'll work with Marco, picture #5

If Marco was a hero!

Silvertongue was the name his fans had given him; he didn't think much of it. He didn't like the idea of people getting hurt, and he had a gift that could help them. When he was born, his parents discovered that he was mute, and would never be able to speak. That didn't prevent him from learning language, on the contrary, he had an ironic gift for understanding speech. Years later, in his late twenties, he witnessed three meaty brutes mugging a meek businessman in the city where he lived. Without thinking, he began walking towards them, speaking in soft, comforting tones. He didn't know what he said, but it made the muggers laugh and walk away, grinning and nudging each other playfully. After the danger had passed, he was angry and confused to find he could no longer speak. Eventually he discovered that he could hypnotize people into feeling calm and secure, but only when someone was in danger. He decided to use his gift as much as he could, to help as many people as he could.

If Marco was a villain!

The Harvester gave the wheel next to him another turn, eliciting a wail of agony from the victim on the rack. The whimpering man pleaded, as they always did, but the Harvester had no ears for him. Cutting him off with a slight tug on the rack, the Harvester pulled up a stool and sat next to his captive, sighing fondly. He patted the sweating, bleeding man on the cheek, and looked around his dim basement lovingly. His surgical tools were close by, ready to extract the man's healthy organs at the moment of expiration. "Do you know why I do what I do? Why I came all the way from Italy to practice my art?" the Harvester asked reminiscently. The man sobbed, and the villain smiled. "Because it is fun." The Harvester kicked away the stool and gave the wheel another turn.

If Marco was a civilian!

Marco grew up reading comic books. He loved the daring heroics of Fantastic Man, and the cunning investigations of Crime Licker. He was an American plumber, from a family of American plumbers, and he desired to be different, to break the mold. He desired superpowers. He worked hard to get them, too, exposing himself to significant amounts of radiation, or buying ancient trinkets in the hope that they would be lost magical foci. So far he has met with only disappointment, but he has continued his efforts undaunted.

Whew...I hope I didn't go too long. Cool idea, and it was a fun diversion!

TheMadGent
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Forum Handle: TheMadGent

Forum Handle: TheMadGent
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I'll give a shot at #1, Saruwatari.

I think mine may be a bit long. I'm keeping everything below 10 sentences, but some of those probably contain more than one phrase by most people's definition.

If Saruwatari was a Hero

TOKYO -- Tensions in East Asia flared today as Captain Saruwatari Ichiro, a.k.a. Golden Phoenix, became involved in a skirmish with the DPRK's Crimson Star. Reacting to an incursion by North Korean ships into the contested Tsushima islands, Japanese command dispatched Phoenix on an interception mission. After a brief skirmish above the islands, Golden Phoenix forced Crimson Star to retreat. As of now, no casualties have been reported by either party.

Saruwatari's career in fashion was cut short when a nuclear accident granted him the ability to absorb and project solar energy. Immediately after developing his powers, Saruwatari enlisted in Japan's controversial Typhoon Initiative. In a 2011 interview, Saruwatari was quoted, saying "I definitely do not shy away from [conflict], but my first and foremost priority is always protecting the freedom of our civilians. There are people out there who can't be reasoned with, and it's my job to keep them from threatening [Japan]."

The world is a mess and I just ... need to rule it.

Ozmosis
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Some people have reported

Some people have reported that the original post appears blank to them. So I am reposting the OP here, see if this works.

***DISCLAIMER***
- This exercise is by NO means mandatory. So please, if you have other obligations or assignments, we ask that you focus on those first.
- Content discussed in this thread will NOT be used as game content, this is an exercise in writing only and nothing discussed here should be taken seriously.
- This exercise is open to everyone, and is NOT limited to MWM employees. Fans and the general public are welcome to participate
- Participation in this game should NOT be considered as an application to become a member of the MWM staff.

Hello all!

The goal of these threads will simply be to have fun while working out our collective writing chops! It is also open to everyone, from MWM employees to the general public. The reason for this is to help encourage Dev/Fan base relations. So feel free to be creative, but be sure to follow the exercise guidelines. If enough people participate, more of these games/lessons will be added.

Today’s game is about being creative with character motivations! Every character in a story should have a motivation, something that drives them forward, that gives them a reason to get up in the morning. Simply put; motivation is what makes a character do what they do! The goal is to practice writing a backstory for an already established character.

***Rules***
1. Below are 5 "candidate" pictures with a name and a job assigned to them. Select ONE of the 5 photos to work with.
2. Write three different bios for the picture you select: Who is this person if he was a Hero. Who is this person if he was a Villain. Who is this person if he was a Civilian.
3. All 3 bios have a limit of 10 phrases each!
4. Within each bio you will write, you must include WHO the character is (name provided), WHERE he/she is from, WHAT does he/she do (job provided), HOW does he/she do it, and most importanly WHY does he/she do it.

Candidates: *links lead to images, not websites.*

1. http://free-images.gatag.net/images/l201205181200.jpg
Name: Saruwatari
Profession: Male Model.

2. http://img.wikinut.com/img/21vd32n8ji120o7j/jpeg/180x300/http%3A-www.public-domain-photos.com.jpeg
Name:
Tessa
Profession: Child care.

3. http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8513/8550488989_575cf97c96_b.jpg
Name: Olaf
Profession: Business man.

4. http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7170/6452228555_05fc8f3f9b_b.jpg
Name: Melina
Profession: Musician.

5. http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/pictures/30000/nahled/portrait-of-a-man-1331296228TGX.jpg
Name: Marco
Profession: Plumber.

When replying/posting, I ask that you clearly identify yourself by posting this template:
Name and forum handle: John Doe (a.k.a. Doe Boy)
Status: MWM Employee or Fanbase
Position: Lead, Dev, Contract, Fanboy/girl, etc.

When posting your separate bios, please do so as such:
Who is this person as a Hero:
Who is this person as a Villain.:
Who is this person as a Civilian.:

Now have fun with it! And look for the next game which will be about integration!

______
You wear a mask to hide who you are, I wear a mask to show who I am.

Staff Writer, Composition Team

Comicsluvr
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Name and forum handle: Chas a

Name and forum handle: Chas a.k.a. Comicsluvr
Status: Fan base
Position: QC volunteer, Writing volunteer, avid fan

I'll try Tessa. Warning, I think I blew the '10 phrases' limit and just wrote each one as an interview instead.

If Tessa was a Hero:

Tessa Monroe, friends call me Tess. In costume, everyone calls me Tesla. I was born a Mutant with the ability to control electricity. It was rough growing up in Boston...I was what they call an 'early bloomer' meaning my powers didn't wait until puberty to manifest. I was shocking my parents and blowing out light bulbs when I was four. I'm an electrical engineer but not one of those genius ones that always invent the cool stuff. I have a feeling for electricity that makes it easier for me to repair things and trouble-shoot problems. I've built some gadgets over the years to help me when I'm crime-fighting but nothing like Iron Guy or anything. Why do I fight crime? Somebody has to I guess. I used my powers to stop a mugging when I was 16 and I've been trying to help others ever since. I'm more for the helping others than beating up villains thing though. Half the time I'm busy stopping the bomb while my team fights the bad guys. We always have ways to contribute.

Tessa the villain:

My name? Call me Margo...everyone does. I was born and raised in New York but here I sit in Jerkwater PA. I was 'involved' with a kidnapping and extortion scheme dreamed up by my partner Dr Mental. I'm good with kids so I'd get a job as a high-priced nanny and learn the routine of the rich families. Mental would brainwash the kids to make snatching them easier...make them behave while we waited for the ransom. Why did I do it? For the money of course. Why work when I can bat my eyes and smile and get what I want. Of course HE claims that it was all MY idea but that's a crock. Everyone knows that I don't have any mental powers, subtle or otherwise. I was the pretty, trust-worthy face to his dumb idea. Now, if you'd be kind enough to call me a cab and unlock the cell I'll be leaving now. You'd better walk me out in shackles to prevent suspicion. Then when I'm gone, come back in here and go to sleep. When you awake you'll claim that Dr Mental was manipulating you to let me go. Got it? Ok...let's go...I have a nail appointment at three.

Tess the civilian:

Hi there, I'm Tessa Blake. Please call me Tess. I'm interviewing for the child care position you advertised. Yes, the agency mentioned that the little boy had special needs but I'm okay with that. I have three years with autistic children and two years with a deaf child so I have experience. Oh he's adorable! Nice picture! How did you get a shot of him being tossed in the air like that? Flying? He's...flying? Simon is an extraterrestrial? Okay...um...mind if I ask from where? I mean I studied some of the other races in college... Lordite? Those are the ones with the blue skin right? If I remember they were pretty nice to us when their ship crashed into the moon and everything. I understand that you need to do a background check, yes. No, never smoked. Just off hand can Simon LIFT someone my size when he's flying? I don't want him to see a balloon and take off with me. No? Good. I'm willing to try it if you're willing to give me a chance.

I remember when Star Wars was cool...a long, long time ago...

Terlin
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Name and forum handle: Brian

Name and forum handle: Brian McVey, aka Terlin
Status: MWM Employee
Position: Contract Writer

I'll try Melina, especially as the villain idea wouldn't leave my head. I'm also not sure I kept to the ten phrase limit, but I used less than ten sentences.

If Melina was a Hero:

As a musician, Melina enjoyed her time performing with the Boston Symphony, and gladly volunteered to teach youngsters the art of music and of the flute. Stepping from a nearby alley clad in her silver-trimmed black outfit, she reflected that it also allowed her to indulge in her real passion: crime fighting.

She had discovered quite by accident that she could channel sounds into a range of abilities that confounded criminals. She had been accosted one night while walking home, and fled down a street only to find it blocked. What happened next was strange indeed, for instead of yelling for help, she had lifted her flute to her lips. The thug found it comical that she wanted to perform for him, but then a sound emerged from the instrument unlike any she had made or heard before: the man's eyes grew large as he doubled over holding both ears, a silent scream on his face.

It took a fair amount of trial and error, but she discovered several useful sounds to create effects from protective shields to amnesia, and so began her secret career as Anilem.

If Melina was a Villain:

In the strictest sense, Melina was a musician, but she didn't so much perform for an audience as to them. She leaned back in the chair in bitter remembrance of her futile attempts to earn a living on stage. Raised in New York, that had seemed a good place to perfect what she felt was a natural talent. She raised the flute to her lips once again, letting the flat melancholy notes drift down from her rooftop perch. That was how it had been in her classes and in her early performances: she was outstanding in her method, but her audiences were left in near-fits of depression.

Now in this new place, it wouldn't be long, as she could see that just a few months of her siren song had forced the neighborhood into decline. The people shuffled about in total despair, neglecting themselves and their homes: the eerie discordant notes somehow eroding the very structure of the buildings. The area would soon be ripe for unscrupulous developers, and Melina could then collect her fee. She played on to thoughts of what she could do to an entire city.

If Melina was a Civilian:

Melina only had a few moments to spare. She had been asked to perform in a recital in L.A., and had only just arrived from Sacramento. This was her big break for a career, with prominent members of the music community in attendance. She had indulged in music of some sort for as long as could remember. The notes weren't so sweet at first, but her parents were supportive, and with time came skill. Although other career choices appeared, Melina desperately wanted to make her passion her life.

Clutching her instrument tightly, she made her way on stage. It was difficult to see into the audience with the lights so bright, and she tried to steady herself. Lifting the flute to her lips, she remembered the parting words of her mother "Trust yourself".

Hope that works,

Terlin

The Bullpen

Ozmosis
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I'm glad to see people are

I'm glad to see people are having fun participating! :D We got some nice entries here!

I would like to take this opportunity to offer a little constructive criticism. This is simply to help you all in your writing, and by no means meant to be negative.

When someone is used to write for themselves, it is easy to lose yourself in the story, and sometimes lose sight of the objective you had set yourself in the first place. Whenever your writing for someone else such as an employer, it is important to follow any guide lines they may have set in place. I know this is a hard thing to master, for any writer, because once we get our creative juices flowing, it is hard to wrap our heads around guidelines, as we will sometimes see these as restrictions or barriers.

The important thing to remember, is that these guidelines are there for a reason, and they must be respected or else the final result may suffer. See it as a coloring book, you can fill in the lines, but if you go over them, the image becomes blurred.

I would like to offer Terlin's entry as an example (hope that's ok Terlin). From what I can see here, Terlin followed every guideline that was mentioned: he filled out the information field:name/position/status, he selected only one of the candidates offered, each entry mentioned the name given to the character, mentioned their profession, kept each entry at 10 phrases (or less) and all 3 origins were made and seperated nicely. This is a prime example of following guidelines.

Other than that little detail, I must say your entries are pretty awesome! I even laughed out loud at some of them! (Tess the babysitter was one of my favs! LOL)

______
You wear a mask to hide who you are, I wear a mask to show who I am.

Staff Writer, Composition Team

Beamrider
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Bootcamp#1 entry

Bootcamp#1 entry

Bootcamp#1: Olaf (image #3)

Writer: Beamrider
Status: MWM Employee
Position: Contract writer

Hero:

When Olaf was discharged from the army after multiple overseas tours, he took over the family business from his aging father; an urban grocery market in one of the city's more run-down districts, where he had worked as a stock boy before enlisting. Observing the more impoverished locals scrounging to provide food for their families reminded him of the subsistence farmers he had seen on duty, and the local gangs impressing the young adults bore a terrifying similarity to the extremist religious groups that had forced him to battle children too young to understand what they were fighting for. It wasn't long before he found himself putting on his fatigues and a gas mask, started teaching the gangs that they weren't welcome in his neighborhood.

Villain:

When Olaf took over his father's urban grocery market and first looked at the books, he was appalled at what he saw- what little profit it earned was literally being eaten up by shoplifting, both from his dishonest customers, and most infuriatingly, 'shrinkage' from his own ungrateful employees. Increasing security helped with the first and implementing military-style discipline he had learned on his recent military tours with the second, admittedly at the cost of driving his employee turnover rate to astronomic levels. He soon realized he that he was up against unfair competition from a network of food banks and soup kitchens; fortunately, learning to avoid improvised explosive devices had also taught him how to employ them, and soon the social services learned to fear that section of the city. Slipping back into his old fatigues and weapons, he spends his nights keeping 'do-gooders' from giving the undeserving locals more than their pathetic lives deserve.

Civilian:

Olaf took over his father's urban grocery store following his military discharge, and he found that things had changed from when he had been a stock boy in his youth: the degeneration of the area in the depressed economy had driven shoplifting and employee shrinkage to business-threatening levels. Having learned the value of teamwork from his military service, he started upgrading his employees’ benefits, keeping the best, and firing the worst, getting them to treat the store as an entity to be proud of, instead of just a job. Arranging to deliver unused and nearly-expired inventory to the local food banks and soup kitchens generated a tremendous amount of goodwill within the community, increasing his business; engaging with local police and street-level superheroes minimized the gang activity that was preventing the community from prospering.

Composition Team

Terlin
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The most challenging item I

The most challenging item I found with the task was imagining three distinct flavors of a single character. That really went against my instincts, and I became so focused on one (the villain) that I literally had to step away for a few hours between each.

In a way, I felt myself getting caught up in the story as Ozmosis said. I could have just kept on with the first one for several pages.

Terlin

The Bullpen

Ozmosis
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Terlin wrote:
Terlin wrote:

The most challenging item I found with the task was imagining three distinct flavors of a single character. That really went against my instincts, and I became so focused on one (the villain) that I literally had to step away for a few hours between each.
In a way, I felt myself getting caught up in the story as Ozmosis said. I could have just kept on with the first one for several pages.
Terlin

This was also part of the exercise. Writing 3 different bios for 3 different characters is easy. Reimagining the same character 3 times proves to yourself that you can be flexible, and are not locked into one mindset.

______
You wear a mask to hide who you are, I wear a mask to show who I am.

Staff Writer, Composition Team

Beamrider
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Ozmosis wrote:
Ozmosis wrote:

Terlin wrote:
The most challenging item I found with the task was imagining three distinct flavors of a single character. That really went against my instincts, and I became so focused on one (the villain) that I literally had to step away for a few hours between each.
In a way, I felt myself getting caught up in the story as Ozmosis said. I could have just kept on with the first one for several pages.
Terlin

This was also part of the exercise. Writing 3 different bios for 3 different characters is easy. Reimagining the same character 3 times proves to yourself that you can be flexible, and are not locked into one mindset.

The requirements did not actually state' that all three were supposed to be the same person, other than sharing a name, photo, and day-job. I did it that way anyhow, because that seemed to be what you wanted, but it wasn't explicit.

Composition Team

Ozmosis
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Beamrider wrote:
Beamrider wrote:

Ozmosis wrote:
Terlin wrote:
The most challenging item I found with the task was imagining three distinct flavors of a single character. That really went against my instincts, and I became so focused on one (the villain) that I literally had to step away for a few hours between each.
In a way, I felt myself getting caught up in the story as Ozmosis said. I could have just kept on with the first one for several pages.
Terlin

This was also part of the exercise. Writing 3 different bios for 3 different characters is easy. Reimagining the same character 3 times proves to yourself that you can be flexible, and are not locked into one mindset.

The requirements did not actually state' that all three were supposed to be the same person, other than sharing a name, photo, and day-job. I did it that way anyhow, because that seemed to be what you wanted, but it wasn't explicit.

Sorry, didnt express myself clearly enough there!

The 3 bios were ment to be 3 different variants of the same source material (the picture, name, and job). They did not necessarily need to be the same person, just from the same source material.

______
You wear a mask to hide who you are, I wear a mask to show who I am.

Staff Writer, Composition Team

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Although the environment

The environment can be a powerful influence on our decisions, and those decisions can split time into differing reality outcomes. The core reality is with Tessa as a civilian.

Civilian:
Tessa is from Raleigh North Carolina and she has always been wild about kids; in part because she is unable to physically have her own children, but mostly because she believes in the future. And, being Raleigh’s top rewarded child care provider allows her to positively influence the next generation. By building her education and experience in early childhood development she has a sense of fulfillment as she can nurture other children until she can afford to adopt her own child.

Hero:
Tessa is Guiding Light the mutant heroine with incredible light and heat generation powers. She was content to continue her childcare career and not use her powers at all until her niece, who was like a daughter, was sexually abused and died at the evil hands of a monstrous person. This monster was never apprehended, but with strong family support Guiding Light was born. Outside of her job, she fights with all her might to defend missing and exploited children often taking vigilante actions to save them.

Villain:
Her name is Solaris the homemaker mutant villain whose power includes the entire light and heat spectrum. The vicious death of her niece and lack of family support for her condition was too much. Now she would take what she wanted or steal enough money to buy it herself. Ironically, Solaris adopted a girl and a boy who are the love of her life, and she makes huge anonymous donations to various child charities. But she will never be separated from her kids much to the chagrin of police and heroes alike who try to stop her.

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This I can do..., ^_^

This I can do..., ^_^

Forum handle: Thunder-Puncher
Status: Phoenix Initiative Groupie
Position: Freelance Writer
I'll go with Marco.

If he was a Hero:

After a disaster at Titan Municipal Water Processing Plant during a superpowered conflict by a group of heroes and a villain who sought to contaminate Phoenix City's water supply with a deadly toxin, Marco was unfortunately doused with a series of hazardous elements that spurned his previously unknown and inert mutagenic capabilities. What would have normally killed him allowed him to adapt and adopt to his immediate surrounding environment and instead of perishing, he became amorphous and fluidic...able to change his shape, size, form and volume which allowed him to help turn the tide as he blasted the nefarious villain completely by surprise - knocking him away from the main water treatment tank, giving the heroes the time they needed to secure their foe before any further calamity could ensue. From that day forward, he was no longer just your average everyday waste water maintenance personnel...he was FLOODGATE!

If he was a villain:

When you spend your entire day worked with the filth everyone else flushes down the toilet, you would easily understand how someone would finally snap...and Marco snapped in a bad way. Perhaps it was being unceremoniously drenched in waste water, perhaps it was having to unclog a filter due to a copious build up of feces...perhaps it was just the nigh constant stench of sewer, but Marco had finally had enough. The city folks always expected someone else to take care of THEIR sh*t...they never considered handling their own problems, just flush a toilet and their problems were resolved - no muss, no fuss. So when budget cuts were levied and Marco was suspended without pay 'until further notice'...he decided he'd bring the notice to them, in the form of various tools and implements he'd spent years handling. While not the most powerful of foes, his knowledge of Phoenix City's underground infrastructure was without peer. Rumors began to spread of a maniac who lived beneath the streets, coming out of nowhere - no place was safe, especially in the slums and the alleyways from the murderous wrench wielding psychopath known as WET WORKS.

If he was a civilian:

Some would say that it's a good life to have a 9 to 5 job, Marco would say so...but most probably wouldn't think the life of a plumber, especially one at the local Municipal Waste Water Treatment Plant. Still, it was a good life...it paid well and his wife, Maria, didn't complain. She was proud of her husband who was soon to be a father. Certainly, Marco lived in a city where there were those who could do amazing things...sometimes even frightening things, and it did cross his mind on a few occasions what it would be like to do some of those incredible things. Then again, Marco felt the same way when watching the game at the local pub...sure, there were things that Marco couldn't do - but there were things that Marco did do that made his life no less significant, and that sufficed. After all, you don't have to be a able to lift mountains, control the weather or blasts holes through concrete in order to keep the toilets in Phoenix City flushing without a hitch. He doesn't think to stop bank robberies because he doesn't expect some hero to keep Phoenix City's waste water infrastructure flowing...that's his job - it's heroic enough.

Ozmosis
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Hi All!

Hi All!

More great submissions! Yay!

Dinma, good job over all! You kept it super short, which is good. Being concise is a good trait to have, but be careful not to be too short either. You managed to hint towards their motivations, and it would have been interesting to hear a bit more. You may want to elaborate a bit more if you get some sort of task/project in the futur. My favorite was the villain!

Thunder, just a bit of friendly criticism, keep an eye on your punctuation. I feel you got intimidated by the 10 phrase limit and tried to compensate by makign certain phrases super long. This makes reading difficult to the viewer, and can lead to confusion. As for your candidates, I feel your hero write-up was more an introduction story rather than an explanation on his motives, we didn't really get his inspiration. That being said, your villain is great, and your civilian is pure gold. I'd use Marco the every-man plumber as a contact any day!

Remember, mastering the conciseness of your writing is very important! When asked to pitch one of your concepts, people will want to hear a one or two paragraphs summery. Only after the general idea of your concept has been accepted, will you want to send in a 10 page description.

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You wear a mask to hide who you are, I wear a mask to show who I am.

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AmbiDreamer
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Name and forum title: Joshua

Name and forum title: Joshua A. Dexter B.K.A AmbiDreamer
Status: Fanbase
Position: Kickstart backer, would-be writer

I know I am late for the thread. I’d been meaning do these for a while, so since there is nothing about a deadline that I’ve seen, here I am. “Ten phrases” felt like a loose term so I hope I’m doing these right. (Especially the third.) If not, sorry! I could always redo.

I wasn’t sure if a compound sentence counts as one “phrase” or two. From the responses, I figure it counts as one so long as you don’t overdo it. (I also like to think the title of the piece is uncounted towards the ten limit.)

Whereas Beamrider’s entry tried to take one single character and show different reactions, I wanted to take different circumstances that lead to the same basic themes.

4. http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7170/6452228555_05fc8f3f9b_b.jpg
Name: Melina
Profession: Musician.

As a Hero

I’m Melina, a case study of contradictions.
I’m a musician but my actual powers are fire based.
(And Melina means yellow or apples but I hate yellow apples!)
I was inspired by the TCFD story (and memorial, which has my great great-grandpa’s name on it) to become a hero.
Most of my friends and family know who I am even though use a mask and codename.
I believe in the song that says “Wake up and become the best you that you can” (or is it a poem?)
Oh, this is stupid-funny: I got my fire powers ice skating during winter… when I had a cold.
I grew up in Clarkson but moved to Downtown like most girls my age.
Not being able to use my fire powers to fly makes me feel fat sometimes (I know that isn’t how it works!)
And that’s all the things about me you need to know.

As a Villain
Ten “Interesting” facts for my police report (or obituary, whichever comes first)

I. My most serious crimes so far probably involve torture, bank robbery, drug trafficking and jaywalking
II. The crime people seem to hate most: I got in a bad mood and tried to melt down that fireman’s plaque in Alexandria (People really freak out over that)
III. Clarkstown Daily once called me a “bad female role model” – for how I dressed, not for an actual crime
IV. I got popular in school for writing a piece on how “Wake up and be the best you that you can be” meant it was okay to use your super powers to steal
V. I got rejected from U of Titan City for writing a piece on how “Wake up and be the best you that you can be” meant it was okay to use your super powers to steal
VI. I moved here from Ohio because I wanted a challenge- and because I’m better than you
VII. Aside from my natural pyro abilities, I know three dozen ways to poison you – also because I’m better than you
VIII. I’m as humble as I am brilliant and sexy (and a hell of a guitarist to boot!)
IX. I am a firm believer in making your dreams come true no matter what
X. Most of my dreams involve burning this city to the ground (for good this time) and becoming rich. Buy my cd!

As a Civilian

Why Songfire is My Best Hero (by Milan, middleschool student)

My aunt Millie (Melina) doesn’t know she’s a super hero named Songfire, she just is! (I made the name up just now)
Last winter, she took me to the Central Library library in Alexandria (important), the comicbook shop on main street (Fun!) and to see the plaque for the dead firemen’s plaque in Alexandria too (boring so only second most important)
When she’s not being really popular in the bar or at parties or singing with her dumb band, she teaches CPR and helps rehabate (rebellytate? You know, fix) super heroes when she’s not working (which is a lot. But I guess it’s most important because super heroes are cool)
She told me a secret! She said she got to become a musician because Anilem is her favorite hero growing up (Please keep it a secret, Mr. Lawrence, you can right?)
Finally, she told me the silliest thing and said, “No matter what, you can always get up and choose to be the best you.” Or something. I dunno… I guess that’s good advice?
I call her "Songfire" because she sings and plays the piano and fire is just cool, duh.
And that’s why my aunt “Millie” Songfire Melina is my hero and why I wanted to write about her (is that enough words yet? Now? Okay good)

... Did I screw this up too badly?

Longtime City of Heroes player, longtime writer. :)

Ozmosis
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Wow, sorry I havent been here

Wow, sorry I havent been here in a while... been super busy getting content out! :P

Hi Ambi! These threads are open, this is for fun/practice and people can participate whenever.

I was looking for short paragraphs, not bullet point, in order to see people practice coherent phrasing. Tho the ideas you were showing here are good!

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You wear a mask to hide who you are, I wear a mask to show who I am.

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A bit of a Necro, but I

A bit of a Necro, but I thought this could be fun.

Name and forum handle: Name - Thomas aka Culach
Status: Fan
Position: See Status

Name: Saruwatari
Profession: Male Model

As a Hero:
Saruwatari is my professional name when working as a male model. I am also known as Reddomūnhantā (Red Moon Hunter), mysterious oni hunting martial artist. I am not the first Reddomūnhantā, that would have been my many times great grandfather. For generations we have fought to keep Edo free of supernatural influence. Unfortunately, it doesn’t pay well, thus I work as a male model to pay the bills. Besides, no one expects a male model to be smart and capable, and as such I can operate within the shadows of the city. For the Honor of my family, I must continue this work, protecting the unknowing citizens of this city.

As a Villain:
You may call me Saruwatari, it is my professional name after all. As you may have guessed, I am more than just the handsome face I present as a male model. I earn more as, which I appreciate, the leader of Reddomūn (Red Moon), a gang of criminals in our territory in Edo. My minions follow my orders without question. Mostly we run an “insurance” business, you pay us to ensure that no one messes with you or your business, and when someone does, we take care of it, but we do have other “side” businesses, drugs and other illegal recreations among them. We have also aided our community in times of need, which begs the question: Are we criminals, or a community service?

As a Civilian:
I am a professional male model working under the name of Saruwatari, and my face is often seen on billboards in Edo. There is one down the street from my apartment. I am not as smart as my brother, and was unable to advance in to university as he did, but I was able to leverage my looks into a career. I have wondered what it might be like to be a hero or villain, and I realized that I am not suited to either, therefore I am content to be good at what I am.