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April Fools 2017

Doctor Tyche's picture

"Who is this?"
"Saul? Saul who?"
"Saul Rubenstein? I blocked you!"
"New phone, I see."
"The last one was actually a bomb sent by Negascendant."
"Well, I'd send you one too if I could. You almost ruined us."
"What do you mean it's done?""
"What did you do, Saul."
"What we paid you for."
"I'm going to take this slowly, Saul. What, exactly, do you think I paid you to do, and is the EPA going to call me in the morning?"
"What... wait. What?"

"The game's done?"
"But your programmer was kidnapped by aliens! And blown up!"
"Not in that order, right."
"He was shunted into a reverse time dimension. I see. That is a thing that happens, yes."
"So... he has a game, and fifty years of billable hours."
"... well, you already got the money, Saul."
"Okay, Saul. How are you going to send it over?"
"On an 8-track. Of course. How did you get it on an 8-track?"
"With the leprechaun. He went to night school."
"Saul, there aren't going to be any side effects from playing this game, are there? Things like spontaneous manifestation of powers, or chanting in an incomprehensible, dead language?"
"Saul, are you sure this is safe? You've told me the coder is slowly turning into a fishman."
"Uh-huh. And playing the music forwards says 'wash behind your ears.'"
"I don't think there's such a thing as forwards masking, Saul."
"You're sure it's safe. Saul, you said the action figures were safe."
"They weren't even safe when they were in the package - they ignited on exposure to sunlight!"
"... yes, I know that was the action feature."
"But now we've got a few innocent kids with arson records."
"Okay, Saul, ship it over. I think I can hammer together something that can read it out of my grandpa's 1974 Buick."
"... Where are you, exactly?"
"What do you mean, next to me?"
"Yes, it is a very good disguise. Why are you in the mailbox..."
"Ah. Yes, I see, you owe him money. Well. Here."
"Thank you, Saul. I'm going to go over there now because the mailbox is glowing and humming. That's not normal behavior."
"What do you mean it's normal behavior? In what world does that happen?"
"Ah. Well. Let's hope you get back there soon."

A special thanks to Tre Chipman for always making us laugh. You were taken from us too soon, Ascendant.